I have been pondering for a couple days now about relationships. I been thinking really hard especially as someone who is older and now thinking about starting to date or you know dating more mindfully....

Does someones past actually matter?

I am a firm believer that I believe people can change. I believe that people can choose at any moment to switch their lifestyles. I believe that nothing is ever fully set in stone and human are always moving/invovating/creating. And then I think about my past or my own baggage... Would I want someone to dismiss me over my past or my baggage? Would I want someone to see me and immediately write me off over one thing than can easily be changed? No I would be upset and hurt if someone I cared about did that to me. Which makes me wonder, how often have I done it to men? "oh you have this going on" "oh you been divorced before" "oh you did ___" But does those things really matter when someone is your partner? If the person shows up, treats you well, and cares about you; or matches your preferred lifestyle, does the past change that? Does the past make that person into someone new automatically? I don't regret anything from my past but I can recognize that I was a dick, I made mistakes, I probably made some peoples lives harder than they couldve had. Sure, no human on the world can avoid atleast hurting one person emotionally or mentally. That's human nature after all.

I also had this thought when I was in the shower about a lenticular image. The particules of the image doesn't change depending on what side of the picture you are looking at. It's all the same just from where the other person is standing. Do you see it from the middle, the right, or the left. What does the image look like? Which persepective do you want to see? Can you even choose, I mean once you walk just a slight bit, the image will change. I also just think that's something interesting because human are inherently never surface level. We have an outer voice that other's hear but also an inner voice that can choose to speak. We have dreams that we can only slightly interpret. We also have the frontal and back of the human anatomy. We can only see one side at a time, We can't fully dissolve all the angles at once but isn't that what makes people amazing. Chemicals controlling the brain to be able to do whatever it wants to creat physical movements. If humans are just the brain and the human brain is the inner shell than the outer shell is just an illusion of the inner process. It's essentially a real life magician at all walking hours. Anyways, got way too off subject but

tdlr; should we judge someone for their past? does that change them in the present? how much or how little should we emphasize it? where is the line that draws between it. Just a food for thought I guess or an unanswered question I might never recieve but it has changed how I will move forward towards dating... being less judgemental in all.