love robbery *writer's note*
𝙐𝙨𝙪𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙄 𝙬𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙚, 𝙞𝙩'𝙨 𝙗𝙖𝙨𝙚𝙙 𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙄 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙚𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝.
𝙏𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙙𝙞𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙗𝙚𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙞𝙩'𝙨 𝙨𝙡𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩𝙡𝙮 𝙨𝙞𝙢𝙞𝙡𝙖𝙧 𝙩𝙤 𝙙𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙥𝙤𝙤𝙡
𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙖𝙡𝙨𝙤 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙖 𝙛𝙪𝙣𝙣𝙮 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙞𝙘.
𝙄 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙞𝙩 𝙬𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙗𝙚 𝙖 𝙛𝙪𝙣𝙣𝙮 𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙮 𝙞𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙞𝙧 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙖 𝙢𝙖𝙣 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙧𝙖𝙣 𝙖𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙙 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙖𝙣 𝙖𝙣𝙞𝙢𝙚 𝙢𝙖𝙜𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙡 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡
𝙨𝙝𝙤𝙤𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙥𝙚𝙤𝙥𝙡𝙚 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙨.
A man wearing a shitty amazon skimask is holding what presumes to be, from far away, a real gun. In reality, it is an airsoft. He shifts his body slightly over the counter with a smug little smirk on his face. This man behaves like a pretentious, irritating, "superhero" who aren't actual superheroes. Off brand Deadpool cosplayer but atleast Deadpool was somewhat self-aware. This guy? Completely lost in the sauce. And don't get me started on his spandax and off-centered logo.
𝘽𝙪𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙙𝙪𝙙𝙚 𝙬𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙗𝙚 𝙬𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙗𝙖𝙙 𝙨𝙪𝙞𝙩.
𝙄𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙨𝙚𝙚𝙣 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙖 𝙨𝙥𝙤𝙤𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙢𝙖𝙣 𝙘𝙤𝙨𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙮
𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩'𝙨 𝙚𝙭𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙡𝙮 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙞𝙢𝙖𝙜𝙚 𝙄 𝙝𝙖𝙙 𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙙.
"HEY I SAID HOLD YOUR HANDS UP!" He repeats, cracking his voice into an almost whimpery tone.
"You gotta be kidding me. What are you suppose to be? Cupid? This is embarrassing." The woman clerk with a pout on her face- completely starting to be unrazzled by what was happening and staring directly at his gun.
"UH- ARE YOU LAUGHING AT ME? AND YES I AM CUPID" He announced to the entire building but the jig was up.... It was clearly an airsoft gun which he forget to remove the orange tip that reveals it.
"Oh yea, I heard about you. You're the dude going around, "stealing hearts", and doing fake bank robberies just because you are clearly... bored or something. It's kind of pathetic dude. Give it up and get a new hobby" The girl is now completely over it and treating him like a normal customer on a random tuesday.
𝙇𝙞𝙠𝙚, 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙜𝙪𝙮 𝙜𝙤𝙩 𝙖 𝙘𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙧 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙥𝙡𝙚𝙭.
𝙃𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙠𝙨 𝙝𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙩
𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮
𝙃𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙖 40 𝙮𝙚𝙖𝙧 𝙤𝙡𝙙 𝙢𝙖𝙣 𝙞𝙣 𝙨𝙥𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙭.
"Dude! Do you know how much I spent on this suit? These guns? These rock hard abs of mine! FEEL THEM!! They are real!! And for you to disrespect me like this- UGH!" He pulls out a wand with a heart attached to the end and points it at the women. "I really didn't want to have to do it to you but.... MWAH!" He shoots a blast of hearts in her direction and it lands- BULLSEYE.
"Now once you open your eyes, you will notice a slight fever but not just that....absolute burning love for me." He smirks knowing he hit his target in the exact spot he needed to. He is known for this weird routine: he goes to public spaces; pretends like he is going to rob the place; then hits them with his heart blaster. It's corny, but it's his niche. He gets away from the cops for this exact reason. It works way too well and he knows he can easily take anyone's heart with just a shot of his wand or atleast he delusionally thinks that. The police just assume he hasn't taken his meds and let him go- charge free.
"Oh wow..... you are more pathetic than I could have imagined." She slowly helps herself stand back up. "No way, you thought that corny love attack will work on me. Go shoot it at the police and flee like you usually do. This was one of the worst heist I've could've imagined." She snickers.
He was amazed...It finally hit a target that didn't react to it. But he knew, that she wasn't an easy target yet the curiosity has began to rise. He starts making his way towards the door and prepares to leave. Then he mutters "Well I guess I'll be back next week at the same time."
She looks at him bedazzled by how much of an idiot this dude is.
𝙄 𝙙𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙠 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙢𝙖𝙞𝙣 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙞𝙨 𝙨𝙘𝙝𝙞𝙯𝙤 𝙤𝙧 𝙖𝙣𝙮𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜
𝙗𝙚𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙜𝙪𝙣 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙠𝙨.
𝙃𝙤𝙬𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧, 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙤𝙢𝙖𝙣 𝙝𝙚 𝙪𝙨𝙚𝙙 𝙞𝙩 𝙤𝙣 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙙𝙤𝙚𝙨𝙣'𝙩 𝙜𝙚𝙩 𝙖𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙗𝙮 𝙞𝙩.
𝙎𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩'𝙨 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙞𝙧𝙤𝙣𝙮 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙤𝙧𝙮.