𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚 𝙧𝙤𝙗𝙗𝙚𝙧𝙮
A man wearing a shitty amazon skimask is holding what presumes to be, from far away, a real gun. In reality, it is an airsoft. He shifts his body slightly over the counter with a smug little smirk on his face. This man behaves like a pretentious, irritating, "superhero" who aren't actual superheroes. Off brand Deadpool cosplayer but atleast Deadpool was somewhat self-aware. This guy? Completely lost in the sauce. And don't get me started on his spandax and off-centered logo.
"HEY I SAID HOLD YOUR HANDS UP!" He repeats, cracking his voice into an almost whimpery tone.
"You gotta be kidding me. What are you suppose to be? Cupid? This is embarrassing." The woman clerk with a pout on her face- completely starting to be unrazzled by what was happening and staring directly at his gun.
"UH- ARE YOU LAUGHING AT ME? AND YES I AM CUPID" He announced to the entire building but the jig was up.... It was clearly an airsoft gun which he forget to remove the orange tip that reveals it.
"Oh yea, I heard about you. You're the dude going around, "stealing hearts", and doing fake bank robberies just because you are clearly... bored or something. It's kind of pathetic dude. Give it up and get a new hobby" The girl is now completely over it and treating him like a normal customer on a random tuesday.
"Dude! Do you know how much I spent on this suit? These guns? These rock hard abs of mine! FEEL THEM!! They are real!! And for you to disrespect me like this- UGH!" He pulls out a wand with a heart attached to the end and points it at the women. "I really didn't want to have to do it to you but.... MWAH!" He shoots a blast of hearts in her direction and it lands- BULLSEYE.
"Now once you open your eyes, you will notice a slight fever but not just that....absolute burning love for me." He smirks knowing he hit his target in the exact spot he needed to. He is known for this weird routine: he goes to public spaces; pretends like he is going to rob the place; then hits them with his heart blaster. It's corny, but it's his niche. He gets away from the cops for this exact reason. It works way too well and he knows he can easily take anyone's heart with just a shot of his wand or atleast he delusionally thinks that. The police just assume he hasn't taken his meds and let him go- charge free.
"Oh wow..... you are more pathetic than I could have imagined." She slowly helps herself stand back up. "No way, you thought that corny love attack will work on me. Go shoot it at the police and flee like you usually do. This was one of the worst heist I've could've imagined." She snickers.
He was amazed...It finally hit a target that didn't react to it. But he knew, that she wasn't an easy target yet the curiosity has began to rise. He starts making his way towards the door and prepares to leave. Then he mutters "Well I guess I'll be back next week at the same time."
She looks at him bedazzled by how much of an idiot this dude is.
.